No Coots Like Old Coots

Photo by Ryan Franco on Unsplash

Older fellows can be a little grumpy. Even guys who have been perfectly good company for most of their lives bend towards gruffness in later years.  This is widely known, and yet in 2014 some smart-ass whippersnappers in a lab somewhere wasted a bunch of perfectly good money just so they could identify the tipping point at age 70.

So if you’re not there yet, now you know.  That’s when it really starts to go downhill.

And if you’re already at age 70 or beyond and you’re not seething at people yet, you’re out of step.  Get with the program!

No one knows why the data shows such a sharp decline in cheerfulness and sociability after 70.  The septuagenarians I asked thought the whole thing was a made-up pile of crap and demanded to know why I was wasting their time with it.

But it’s hard to take in new information when you are shaking your fists at the sky.  So I tried to simplify the findings to make them more palatable.

Acceptance is the first step.

At Fifty Nine – Feeling Fine.

At Six and Zero – Still a Hero.

At Sixty One – Loads of Sun.

At Sixty Two – Yabba Dabba Doo!

At Sixty Three – Full of Glee!

At Sixty Four – Ready for More.

At Sixty Five – Vibrant, Alive.

At Sixty Six – Same Old Tricks.

At Sixty Seven – Oceans Eleven!

At Sixty Eight – Still Kinda Great.

At Sixty Nine – No, Really. Fine.

At Seven and Zero – More Like Nero.

At Seventy One – Hostile to Fun.

At Seventy Two – I’m Watching You!

At Seventy Three – You Talking to ME?

At Seventy Four –  Sore.

At Seventy Five – A Hornet’s Hive.

At Seventy Six –  Literally, Kicks.

At Seventy Seven – Can’t Leaven.

At Seventy Eight – Post Expiration Date.

At Seventy Nine – Enough With the Damn Rhymes!